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If you are finding yourself in relationship after relationship where your efforts are the only thing keeping the relationship afloat, you may need to examine everything about yourself.  If you are finding it hard to separate your identity from that of your spouse or significant other, self-examination is needed.  Seeing this hoe-like mentality in many of my friends and family led me to believe that this behavior may be learned rather than developed.

I remember sitting in a car with a friend trying to talk her out of staking out her own home just to see if her husband was cheating.  She could not understand that he had his own identity and she married a very strong opinionated man with a confidant presence and dominant personality.  Being weak in mind and esteem, she allowed his friends to become her friends while the friends she’d accumulated were shut out.  He took advantage of the fact that she allowed his likes to become her likes and aggressively pushed her to the point to where she forgot what she liked.  There was no separation between the wife and the person. She no longer had personal friends or an outlet for release.  She asked him what she should eat, wear, and even think.

Digging deeper,  I found out that her mother had done any and everything in her power to keep her father.  He beat her and verbally abused her at every turn but no matter what, she stayed by his side and gave him all she had.  If you look at this woman today she looks drawn out and worn while he looks healthy and ageless.  It starts by how you think, feel, and present yourself.

The pimp/hoe relationship is based on this same concept. The pimp validates her status as worthless without him while she works hard on being the best whore for him. She gives her mind, body, and soul to him knowing she is being ill-treated but thinks she’d be a loser alone so bottom-bitch status is better than being alone. Longing to be a part of something far greater than her but subjecting herself to total manipulation and humiliation.

It is a very sad thing to look at and I’m beginning to see more of it every day. As a woman, it pains me to see another woman willingly sacrifice herself for the false dignity of keeping a man. Some of these women aren’t even sacrificing themselves for great providers. They’re selling out to bottom of the barrel, bum ass dudes. All I can do is sigh and be optimistic that one day we’ll all be free, but I know there will always be those few who will think that their freedom ain’t worth having if they don’t have some piece of a man.

As with everything associated with technology, there are pros and cons. The most significant downside of text messaging is the increasingly bad social habits that people are beginning to develop because of them. Texts have now become the middleman in relationships (romantic and friendly) and in many cases substituted as a viable means of communication for any situation. Text messaging was never intended to be used as a break-up tool for your significant other or drunken emotional expression. Nor was it to be utilized as a shield to support your weak ass, passive aggressive personality. With that said, there are text messages you should never answer based solely on the principle of not allowing someone to perpetuate bad communicating behavior with you. Listed below are a few of the most common texts and why you should never respond to them:

“…..imiss tha way we wuz when we wuz tugetheer….,,,i onlii wanna bi yor friend kuz ikan’t  cee miself away from our lyfes,,,,,”

This text should be ignored and deleted based solely on not wanting to support adult illiteracy. No one over the age of 17yrs old should be abbreviating and/or creating new English words such as “bi” or “lyfes” and unless you are one of these lazy ass people who type messages in the aforementioned manner, it should piss you off whenever someone tries to communicate with you in such a way. Never respond.

“What you doing?”

What’s wrong with asking someone what he or she is doing at the moment? It’s just an innocent text right? There is nothing wrong with this text when it is a sincere gesture by someone who is not aware of your daily schedule. However, when the person who sends you this specific text are fully aware that you are at work from the hours of 9am to 5pm, Monday through Friday, and they send this text damn near every other day at 10am, they don’t deserve a response, never.

“I’m so bored, talk to me”

The person who decided to send you this text should have enough sense not to tell you upfront that you are only a source of entertainment for them for however long you respond to them. Deserves absolutely no response.

“You wanna get dinner and catch a movie, your treat?

This text is one of my favorites. It displays the humongous balls people have nowadays when it comes to social interacting. They initiate a possible desire to hangout with you but in the same breath tell you that you are footing the bill for their sudden benevolence with their time. Never, ever respond.

“I don’t think this is going to work out. I think you’re such a wonderful person and deserve to be happy with someone who would better appreciate you. It’s not you, it’s me…”

 “I wish we could have met each other at different times in our lives. I value you as a friend. I meant everything I’ve ever told you…”

“I know we’re not in an actual relationship but I feel the need to say this because I value your friendship…”

“I don’t deserve you…”

“I think we need some time and space apart…”

It gets no classier than the standard, classic break-up text. You’ve shared moments, time, and body fluids together but the overwhelming cowardice and lack of class in the person who sends you any variations of these texts actually believe that they are being a stand-up person and are letting you down easy. Break-up text messages are points of closure for the person sending the text and not the recipient. You don’t even have to be in an actual relationship to receive a break-up text. The only qualification needed for break-up texts are that you were romantically involved with the sender at one point in time. It’s basically a notice of “I’m Now Pursuing Interests In Other People And Are Hereby Now Done With You And Any Emotions And/Or Feelings You May Have For Me After This Text I Am Not Responsible For.” Under no circumstances are you to ever respond directly or indirectly to a break-up text. Your response gives them the closure they are soliciting. Never, ever, ever reply. As a matter of fact, delete them from your phone altogether so that 3 months from now when they reach out to you again through text your response can sincerely be “Who is this?”

“Why you deleted me off Facebook and/or unfollowed me on Twitter?”

Never answer stupid questions.

“I’m so pissed at you right now!”

“Yoor xo fuhhll of shixt!”

This is the typical passive-aggressive text message. They hate confrontations so texts are the perfect medium for them to practice their abnormal behavior. Most passive-aggresives send the bulk of their text messages drunk. That’s really the only time that they even attempt to speak how they feel without feeling uncomfortable. They can’t really deal with you conversationally face-to-face because confrontation makes them uncomfortable and at the same time trying to gauge your interest in their feelings and opinions. You’re supposed to respond with, “What I do?” and they’re going to begin their Academy Award performance through text. Don’t take the bait. Especially if you’ve just been in their presence 30 minutes prior and they didn’t say a word to you about being upset about anything. Never reply.

“Hey beautiful, when you gonna let me eat that good pussy again?”

These texts fall under the category of “If You Have To Ask” because no attractive woman has to solicit oral sex from a man. Dudes nowadays are just walking around slobbin’ damn near every cooch they come across. Nine times out of ten if she gave it a shot one time and never offered another, the experience wasn’t worth her time. Besides, most women will send you the “Come get this pussy” text themselves if they like you like that. These texts receive a big “IGNORE.”

“Tell your other women you busy tonight. I wanna come over”

Most men hate hip ass chicks. I’m not talking about hip in the sense of being stylish, conscious and aware of the power of their womanhood hip. I’m referring to what I call the “Rihanna hip.” That’s the hipness that makes a man feel as if he’s interchangeable and apart of some rotation the woman has in place. She’s always making it a point that you understand that she understand we’re both single. She uses you at her discretion and only at her discretion. You never have to bother about answering these texts because more than likely you’re middle of the pack or bottom of the totem pole. She’ll move on to the thirst hounds after you. Never reply, unless you’re parched.

“WHY YOU NEVER ANSWER MY TEXTS!”

This is self-explanatory, isn’t it?

In conclusion, we are living in an age where people are becoming more and more disconnected from each other but in constant contact through technology. Texts are meant to be quick, concise, and to the point means of communication. The crazy and emotionally weak are now armed with tools that if you let them, will drive you up the fuckin’ wall. You don’t have to be one of those people. By refusing to participate in what is quickly becoming normal societal behavior, you can ensure that you keep your sanity intact and your communication skills normal.

The very first thing that must be communicated before embarking on any relationship are each other’s plans and expectations. This is where the suffering of many relationships begins because most people walk into it with assumptions. If you know you want to be married within two years of being in a relationship or that you are not interested in having children at all, that must be communicated. If you are not looking to be in an exclusive relationship and are just looking to have fun with someone from time to time, that must be communicated. There is nothing worse than two people being together and neither knowing what is expected of them or even worse, one person assuming one thing is going on while something completely different is happening. Your expectations and plans do not fall into the “They Didn’t Ask” category either. That is simply juvenile.

Equally important is communicating your likes and dislikes as they happen. If you don’t like how someone speaks to you or treats you, speak up. No one should have to be subjected to anything they do not like because the other person is ignorant of your preferences. Three days, three weeks, or three months should not have to pass before anyone hears about something they did or said that you have been irked by. Taking on the mentality of “Maybe it won’t happen again” or “I’ll let it pass this one time” will not work. If it happens the first time, it will continue to happen until you nip it in the bud. Remaining in a situation where you’re uncomfortable because you simply choose to keep your mouth closed is not only stupid but also immature.

Lastly are the passive aggressive attempts at trying to communicate; it does not work. Personally, this is probably the most frustrating, blood pressure raising type of non-communication that exists. It is frustrating because the person refuses to just come out and say what’s on their mind. Through hints and suggestive clues, they want you to decipher what they’re saying and act accordingly. If you don’t catch on to what they’re saying quick enough then they become frustrated or irked with you for not getting the gist of what they were trying to say the first, second, and third times.

For example, you receive a phone call from someone you are dating and within the first five minutes of the call it is declared that they’re home alone or just simply have some free time on their hands. The duration of the phone call reaches two hours and at this point the other person says, “Well you know you could have been here or having dinner talking to me in person for two hours.” You’re on the other end like, “Why the fuck didn’t you just say so in the beginning?!” Their response is, “Well I told you I wasn’t doing anything?!” They didn’t call you because they just simply wanted to chat with you; they called you because they wanted to see you in person, but didn’t want to come out of their mouths to say so for whatever reason. Passive-aggressive communication is very annoying and tends to train people either to limit their conversations with you or not to even want to communicate with you at all.

In brief, there is no way around having to communicate with people. This is especially the case for people you possess a particular romantic interest for and/or are in a relationship with. The only way that you can strengthen your connections with people is through viable, robust lines of communication. There is no other way to achieve this. Without proper adult communication, no living relationship will ever be able to survive. Communication is to relationships as water is to life; they are inseparable.

If you are black and male, everything about you is being critically analyzed by non-blacks. The manner in which you dress, the tone of your voice when you speak, if you enunciate properly when you do speak,  and even the manner in much you physically move. Have you ever heard someone who wasn’t black ever critique a black person speaking with, “He speaks so well!?” It’s as if they were only expecting the speaker to produce grunts, moans, and profanities. The bar is set very low for black people. The only thing that non-blacks give us freely are stereotypes. To some, black people are just criminals who just happen to be temporarily free. You don’t even have to be doing anything to draw this card. Look at Trayvon. He was just walking home when George Zimmerman called 911 and says, “This guy looks like he’s up to no good or he’s on drugs or something.” Before Zimmerman can really even determine what is actually going on, he’s already concluding that some black, junkie addict is in his neighborhood looking for a home to burglarize because what other reason would he be doing in the neighborhood.

More than likely, Trayvon was purposely stalked and confronted by Zimmerman. Some words were exchanged and Zimmerman being the coward he is produced a gun. Trayvon took a chance and attempted to defend himself. That gamble in turn cost him his life. Completely senseless and could have been avoided by Zimmerman but just as he spoke to the 911 operator, “They always get away.” Was Zimmerman in a racist mindset when he approached Trayvon? The simple answer is, “Yes.” There is no doubt in my mind that if Trayvon had been Justin Bieber, this situation would not have happened. Hell, if this would have been a black female it probably would not have happened because black females are not perceived to be as threatening as black males.

Personally, I have experienced this type of incident Trayvon found himself in more than once in my life. The most recent and confrontational was four years ago. It was Christmas Day and I had a gift for a potential love interest that I wanted her to have that day. We hadn’t talked or texted at all and I wasn’t sure if I’d see her. After logically thinking it through, I decided that since I knew where her parents lived and that she would more than likely be visiting them, I would deliver the gift personally to their residence for her to have whenever she gets there. I get dressed and drive across town to the parent’s home. It’s a gated community with a call box at the entrance.

Upon my arrival, I drive into the visitor’s lane to utilize the call box. I don’t see the parent’s last name in the directory nor do I remember the address to their home. With no other visible means of accessing the property, my only other option was to wait for another vehicle to enter the premises so that I could follow behind for entry. Ten minutes later, my moment arrives with the appearance of this dirty Ford F-350 truck that looks like it had just drove through a mud pit. The gate opens and I quickly follow behind the truck. As I’m coming through the gate, the truck pulls over as if to get out of my way, I hand gesture a quick thank you and continue on. As I’m driving, I notice in my rear view that the truck is behind me and appears to be following. I quickly find a parking spot but no sooner than I park and remove the keys from the ignition, the truck pulls up behind me, blocks me in, and the driver jumps out with a shotgun.

Purely out of instinct, I quickly survey the man to see if I can identify any law enforcement paraphernalia that might be visible. I see none. The first thought that runs through my mind is, “Put the key in the ignition and only roll the window half way down.” I quickly turn the ignition key in a half turn and proceed to place my hands visibly on the steering wheel. The man walks up and is a middle-aged Caucasian male who looks as if he could be straight out of the movie “Wyatt Earp.” He has on dirty cowboy boots, denim jeans with shirt, and a big cowboy hat. He barks out to me with his shotgun in his right hand pointing down and his left hand pointing directly at me, “Hey! What do you think you’re doing!?” I respond, “Nothing. I’m dropping of a Christmas present for my friend.” I am careful not to make a sudden movement while I reach for the gift wrapped present sitting in my passenger’s seat.

In one motion, I go-ahead and roll my window completely down to lift the gift within his line of sight when he abruptly asks, “Who do you know over here!?“
I answer, “The Pradia’s.”
“Well, don’t you know their phone number?!“
“No. I’m not related to them. I’m just here to drop off this gift for their daughter.“
I slowly grab the door handle with one hand while still holding the gift with the other in making an effort to exit the vehicle. The man takes his knee and pushes my door back closed while in the same motion, grabbing his shotgun with both hands but still pointing it to the ground. At this time, I’m still examining him for any identifying law enforcement gear like a badge, belt buckle, or anything because he is very aggressive. I still see nothing.
“What is their address!?” he demands.
“I don’t know, but that’s their unit right there.” I point in the direction of the home. He glances over his shoulder as if just to see in what direction I am pointing.
“Why didn’t you call from the box?“

I am now becoming a little irritated at this point but am careful not to show it to him, “I didn’t know the unit number sir and I didn’t see their names in the directory. I’m just here to drop off this gift. That’s all.“
He’s looking at me more suspiciously, “Do they know you’re coming?“
“No, all I wanted to do was drop this gift off for their daughter. Once I do that, I’m gone. I don’t normally just get up and start driving around at 9 a.m. on Christmas. “
He leans in closer to look inside my vehicle and says, “We’ve had some break-ins and some crime around here recently…” I nod my head in agreement as he speaks.

“You’re supposed to call whoever you’re visiting from that call box and if they don’t answer, you don’t get in.” I am now becoming gradually more agitated but not enough to visibly show.  I respond, “Yes sir, I understand. I just didn’t want my friend not to have her gift on Christmas day. Their name’s not in the directory.“

He eases his knee off of my door and takes one step back. “You don’t wait for someone to open the gate and follow behind them. That’s not proper procedure!“
Still nodding in agreement, I begin to slowly open the door again. “Sir, I’m just going to walk right there, give them this gift, and go home. That’s all I wanna do.“

His posture goes from tense to slightly relaxed with the barrel of his shotgun touching the tip of his boot and says, “You go-ahead, but don’t do it again. You make sure you call next time! “I drop the gift off and quickly get my ass back to my side of town before some life altering event occurs. There is no doubt in my mind that if I had handled the situation with the Cowboy any differently, I possibly could have been another murder statistic such as Trayvon Martin. Shot by an overzealous cowboy who thought he needed to defend himself from someone wielding a gift.

Consequently, contained within the aforementioned experience, is the dilemma of not just black youth but of black manhood in general. We must without fail be aware of our surroundings not only to protect ourselves from becoming a victim of crime, but to ensure that no non-black person can perceive us as being a criminal. It is the criminality of our blackness we just can’t seem to escape. This action of appearing to be non-threatening is daily. We’re sometimes followed in shopping malls and some retail situations. People lock their car doors and grip their purses tighter when we walk-by. If we’re on the same side of the street as a non-black, and there is more than one of us, people sometimes cross the street in order to avoid us. Personally, I’ve even had white women vacate an elevator when I’ve walked on. How do I know they evacuated the elevator because of me? The buttons of the floors they were going to were still lit. In 2012, this is still a black man’s life; always suspicious.

Often times, black men are more so victims of law enforcement than vigilantes like George Zimmerman. Our history is littered with the untimely deaths and/or shootings of black men by members of police organizations. Contemporarily, there’s Amadou Diallo. Shot nineteen times and killed by NYPD for reaching into his coat for his wallet. There’s also Oscar Grant who was lying face down and handcuffed when he was shot and killed by a transit cop. Another is Orlando Barlow. He was shot and killed with an assault rifle while surrendering to Las Vegas police on his knees. Equally important is Sean Bell. He was killed the day before his wedding by off duty NYPD officers because they “thought” he had a gun. Last but not least is the case of Robbie Tolan. Fortunately, he wasn’t killed but a police officer ended his minor league baseball career by shooting him in his parent’s driveway after pulling him over for allegedly driving a “stolen” vehicle that was in his parent’s name. These are just a sample of the most recent cases. The people who have sworn an oath to protect and serve the public have been some of the biggest perpetrators of injustices to black men.

In addition, the dominance of Rap music in American pop culture has not helped at all to rehabilitate the perceptions of black people to non-blacks. Crime, drugs, and street culture not only dominate the genre but are also promoted as a viable, satisfactory way to live. For instance, look at three of the most prominent artists of the genre currently receiving heavy rotation on radio stations across America; Lil’ Wayne, Young Jeezy, and Rick Ross. Two drug dealers and an aspiring Blood Gang member. Lil’ Wayne even took his ass on “60 Minutes” with one of the most embarrassingly ignorant displays of misplaced bravado I’d seen in an interview in a long while and declared to Katie Couric, “I’m a gangsta, Ms. Katie. And I do what I want.” Non-blacks see these types of actions and cement whatever negative, intimidating opinions they may have about black men into stone. Rap is not the problem but it is not helping either hence, the repeated attempts to assassinate Trayvon’s character through his deleted social media accounts because the images we see of him does not fit the imagery we see in rap music.

In conclusion, American history is littered with the innocent deaths of numerous black men, women and children solely because of the color of our skin. Some murders are more prominent than others, while many will never have their names known to the public because they simply “disappeared” without a trace or were swept under the rug. We’ve went from a people being castrated, drowned, and lynched for recreational purposes and/or out of simple anger by Caucasian males to a people who get shot because black people are just intimidating to look at. Especially, 17 year olds like Trayvon Martin.

Trayvon Martin
February 5, 1995 – February 26, 2012

There has been much happening in the world and in our own lives since Raw was last live. There is much to discuss and quite a few new experiences to share. We have brand spanking new posts in the pipe that will be droppin’ soon for “I’m Just Saying” and “Dating, Mating, & Relating” along with the most recent current events. First out the gate will be “Trayvon Martin and the Criminality of Blackness”

To everyone who constantly DM’ed, emailed, Facebooked, text messaged, and tweeted about what the hell we were doing with Raw and when new content would be arriving, I’d like to sincerely thank you for your patronage and encouraging words to get off our asses and get back on our jobs. The Raw is back.

Curtis James

Clingers

This is an expression of an unhealthy need. Every human being has a mortal need for water, food, and shelter. This also includes our basic emotional need for love, affection and acceptance. When the need for human contact outweighs all logic, you have now moved yourself into the category of “clingy.” You are sending a message to your significant other that you cannot function without them and they are the center of your universe. When you do this, you hand over complete power and lose your worthiness making you last on their list of things to do.

How do you pull back?

• Figure out what you like to do and make that part of your normal routine
• Stick by your needs and compromise only if its mutual
• Find your own friends outside of the relationship
• Limit phone time between you and your partner. Give them something to look forward to
• Respect boundaries. Too much of anything is a no, no. You lose your specialness.

Stalking

Again, this is an expression of an unhealthy need. This need is to control all aspects of another’s life. They want to know what you are doing at every second of the day. Clingers beware because clinging is the beginning stages of stalking. Stalking is obsessive behavior toward an individual mentally, physically, and or emotionally. Despite popular belief it is a form of bullying. This person can not see past the action of this obsessive behavior to the point that they know its wrong but cannot stop the action.

Minor stalking is checking his or her phone when they are out of eye shot. It is also paying attention to number sequences so you can attempt to open the phone when they are not around. Some may participate in the act of scrolling up and down facebook pages trying to break the code of who they might be talking to. If you find yourself listening in on the other line during private conversations, put your name in this category. If you are calling strange numbers in their phone and cussing out anyone of the same sex you have a definite problem. What you need to realize is what is in the dark will always come to light. Most of you stalkers participate in these activities to no avail because you won’t leave anyway so what is the point.

Also, stalking is frequenting places you know a person of interst will be in attendance in hopes of setting up a supposed “chance” meeting or liking every Facebook post trying to draw attention to your existence. You may find yourself saying dumb shit because you just needed to grab his or her’s attention but having nothing to say at all. You will find yourself being ignored or responded to in as little words as possible with this person hoping you get the hint. If you find yourself gazing at pictures of this person imagining you are with them to the point of embarrassment as you’re the last to know they hate your presence.

Chronic stalking is the easiest to spot because you are so far gone you stalk your victim in public. If you find yourself tailing, staking out homes, or calling at unreasonable times of a day this is your category. YOU ARE A STALKER! If you are abusing your significant others in any way you are a stalker. Remember stalking is a form of bullying. Bullying is simply an act of making your victim feel lesser so that you have control. If you are researching your target in order to gain an upper hand and purposely driving a wedge between family and friends in order to gain complete control, you have a problem and need to seek professional help. You are not seeing past you own personal, selfish wants and acting out despite of your wellbeing.

Loners

Loners are people who prefer to be alone. They specifically avoid the company of others. On the outside, some may feel there is nothing really wrong with this person. You may even view yourself as a loner but we are talking about not seeing past your own nose. When you exhibit behavior that sections off people in your life or draws a line in regular interaction you have a problem.

Loners tend to become clingy in relationship and they usually become stalkers. There is no one other than their primary focus generating a response from there obvious mental condition. Serial killers and rapist are known to be loners. People don’t like you because they can’t relate. You march to the high hats and don’t even hear the beat. Loners are suicidal, violent, and/or seemingly mild mannered at first glance.

Most people suffering from social anxiety eventually implode. Anger is internalized and repressed channeling the energy and changing it into depression, anxiety, obsessive behavior, and/or pain. They don’t deal with the normal stresses of life normally so irrational solutions become the answers to many of their problems bringing forth detrimental results.

In summary, contiuanlly self-evaluate yourself so that your life’s journey and evolution is as positive as it can be personally and socially. Some of you have no idea that you even exhobit any of these behaviors outlined above because you refuse to be brave enough to look at yourself in the mirror. Go ahead and look, it won’t hurt a thing. It may significantlly improve your life. Especially within your social circles.

We’re watching through a computer screen the decline of mankind right in front of our eyes!

Dani Becca

On August 6, 1991 computer technology that had been exclusively utilized by scientists since 1969 was finally given to the public. The World Wide Web was birthed into existence on this day and the world has never been the same. Since that day twenty years ago, the Internet has developed into an all encompassing standard of modern life. Everything from shopping to attending classes can now be done online. Entire revolutions are now being organized through online means which has displayed the greatest asset the Internet possesses; it’s social capabilities. Anything you want to do socially can now be achieved through the Internet. You want to explore a new city or even your hometown but don’t have the friends to do so, date as many people as possible, engage in stimulating debates, or just simply want advice, you can go to the Internet. However, there are some basic principles you must be aware of when becoming socially active online in order to protect your overall well-being, life, and quite possibly your future.

Mental Illness Is Real

Most people would like to believe that they could easily identify others who may possess mental or even emotional discrepancies but the truth of the matter is neither are easy to detect. Many people in the real world with mental/emotional issues go undiagnosed and untreated for years. In most cases, their entire lives. Place these same people in an environment of anonymity such as the Internet and a minimal amount of personal information about you and there could be problems. Think of any and every mental condition that can possibly afflict a person. They are abundantly present online. Conditions such as psychotic disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, inferiority/superiority complexes and various other bipolar disorders are some of the most prevalent found online. Not to mention the hordes of depressed people that frequent online social groups to seek either sympathy or a new emotional victim to torment. The woman who always speaks in 3^rd person is transparently obvious but many others won’t be as easy to spot.

Lambs Become Lions

Ex-presidential candidate Al Gore is credited with coining the phrase, “Information Super Highway” in reference to the Internet. Nonetheless, that same “superhighway” can lead you to some of the most rancid, despicable, and cowardly people you could ever come across. These people suddenly adopt brash opinions and speech online that in-person would never dare attempt to speak to anyone publically. Often times, they characterize their own words as “keeping it real” or “hard truth” when actually it is only an opportunity to belittle, bully, or disrespect another person unsolicited. You want an example of what most of these people look like? All you have to do is visit a random Yahoo article or any opinion oriented blog site, click an article, and go straight to the comments section at the bottom of that article or story. It is a guarantee that any and everything vulgar you can imagine will be there.

Also, there are a large majority of these people with self-esteem issues they’ve harbored for most of their lives. They are the socially inept. In real life, they possess the inability to express their opinions and thoughts to others without being totally dismissed, outwitted, or looked upon as foolish. In most cases, the Internet gives them their only opportunity to ever be heard by anyone. Their lack of self-expression or intestinal fortitude in real life translates to the eye of the tiger only online. Face-to-face, they’re as timid as a sports writer is alone in an alley with Mike Tyson.

The Decepticons

It has been pointed out in study after study that unattractive people have little to zero social stock in the real world. They simply lack the physical attractiveness or money that would give them a fighting chance in many social circles. Although they may be thoughtful, deep people with nice character, these men and women generally have suffered continual social rejection. The Internet has become the perfect venue for many of the people considered to be physically unappealing because it offers the opportunity to first get to know someone before you actually meet him or her in person. Conventional dating requires that people first reveal their physical profile and only then get to know each other. On average, men tend to lie about their height, relationship status, and financially stability while women lean more to lying about their weight, age, and sexual behavior.

However, the problem that many people encounter with the un-beautiful ones online is that many misrepresent their actual physical appearance. They only post favorable, doctored pictures of themselves. If they are overweight, you will only see headshots. If they’re outside of the dating age bracket they want to be in, they’ll present only high school or college pictures. If they want to be really pictorially ambiguous, they’ll post nothing but pictures of themselves within groups of people leaving you with the task of having to pick the right person. In addition, some people don’t even post pictures of themselves. They take pictures of other people (friends, family, coworkers, etc.) and pass them off as themselves. Many people who are actively dating through online means are finding out that a picture will lie to you quicker than a person’s mouth will.

Equally important, are the people whose entire internet identity is a lie. Online, they are a complete work of fiction. Everything from their accomplishments, career, religion, relationship/health status, residency, family background, and means of supporting themselves financially are creative writing. Basically, these people create the person they would like to have been in real life and stay within that character throughout their entire online existence. Deadbeat or inattentive fathers/husbands become the greatest men to have ever lived. Birds become ladylike, virtuous, and humble. The most hedonistic and sexually deviant people become pillars religious morality. My personal favorites are the multitude of faux Osteen spiritual advisors and motivational speakers. These people consistently bombard the internet with affirmations, regurgitated clichés, quotes, and misquoted/misinterpreted scripture. Hardly ever does the online persona align with the real life person.

So many Internet relationships are built on deception and misrepresentation. Many times, before someone can verify that all they have been told over the internet by someone they are interested in dating is the truth, they are already emotionally vested and sometimes don’t want to hear the truth, or get hurt by hearing the truth. The people who are often times affected by this are those who take the Internet too seriously and who are too trusting in nature. Disappointment is a constant friend.

Promiscuity Lives Here

If there is one thing that is just as abundant on the Internet as lies, it is sex. There are entire websites dedicated to “hooking up.” Sites like OnlineBootycall.com and PlentyOfFish.com are online dating sites that are bursting at the seams with thousands of potential sex partners. Not to mention, all the other niche websites that are available for swingers and every other fetish group that exists. On the other hand, any social networking site has the potential to lead to “hook-ups.” Look at Facebook and Twitter. People are getting together in droves from these two sites and hook-ups weren’t nowhere near to being the initial purpose of the sites, but people are doing it.

What is the point? You should assume that anyone you’ve come in contact with sexually online has been with others from online also. You don’t even have to ask. Just be careful because with some people, it is so habitual to a point that they don’t even want to go out and physically meet people in real life. They hop from person to person online without giving it a second thought.

Keep It Simple and Plain

Simply go onto Facebook and if your news feed is anything like mine, you will notice that privacy is dead. Everyone with the capability to get online should not know every detail of your life. There are some things that should be reserved for more intimate conversations. If you seem to come off to others within your specified online community as aloof then so be it. Every piece of personal information that can be gathered from you online can also be utilized against you as leverage. Never freely giveaway leverage to people you really do not know. This leads to the final point…

Everyone Is Not Your Friend

The biggest illusion the Internet and social networks gets away with everyday is the trick of familiarity. People get lulled into thinking they actually know the people they are interacting with online every day because they have direct access to their opinions and thoughts. Because of this assumption, many people form online relationships that in some cases become parasitic or cancerous. The entire time they are online with you interacting and sharing, these toxic people are taking everything you give to them and trying to utilize it against you.

For example, I knew a girl who used her Facebook/Twitter accounts as a means to vent about her job and certain people involved in cases she would take on. She was a paralegal for an attorney’s office. She never mentioned any specific names or details of any cases. She would only vent about all the negative circumstances that surrounded her at work. Someone amongst her 1000+ friends on Facebook complied six months of her status updates, printed them, and mailed them to her employer. She was subsequently fired from her job. Till this day, she still doesn’t know who sent the letter. It was a hard lesson for her to learn that you can’t say everything to everybody, especially online.

In conclusion, these are just some simple premises you should be made aware of when engaging yourself in social activities online. As with everything in life, you must be aware of the pros and cons of certain things so that it doesn’t negatively affect or even alter your life progression. Although the Internet is arguably the greatest idea man has ever created thus far, it has the capability of making your life a living hell if not used with caution. Don’t consider these words to be anti-social networks because there are sprinkles of good, authentic people shooting between the tubes. Just consider these words to be your cigarette warning label, but for the Internet.

The director of the video, Ladd Ehlinger Jr. (@FilmLadd) tells Politifact.com , “I think it’s only offensive to people who don’t have a sense of humor.”

In my opinion, other than bad music and off beat rhyming, this is the same type of shit that is on WorldStarHipHop.com 24 hours a day. It’s hard to look in the mirror and see that reflection sometimes. Especially when someone else is holding the mirror. I feel sorry for the two niggers in the video. Very bad decision on their part but that’s just me…

Judge for yourself.

Anthony Weiner's junk

When this story of yours first broke and the picture of your “alleged” penis imprint in your underwear paraded in front of my eyes, my initial reaction produced light laughter. Especially being that the news media was reporting that you “allegedly” tweeted this now infamous penis imprint to one of your followers. Being that I have somewhat followed you since your failed 2005 New York City Mayoral bid, I sincerely believed that you would not be that witless to DM photo ops of your junk to some follower on your Twitter account. I solely based this opinion on being that you were, ya’ know, an actual public official with a prominent Democratic profile and all. Some political circles were even considering you to be the Democratic Party’s new “bulldog” in Congress. However, when you started the “I Don’t Think It’s My Penis But…” defense, I saw the blood in the water and knew it was only a matter of time before the feeding frenzy would go full blast. Pictures were released. Transcripts of vulgar text message conversations were dropped to the press. Multiple women claiming they’ve also had the “displeasure” of sexting and tweeting you. Basically, full blown embarrassment ensues. Why three weeks later you would fold under pressure and resign kills me.

First, let’s address what really has happened. You were pressured into resigning because of a “sex scandal” with no actual sexual contact occurring between you and these internet chicks. You were only texting and webcaming yourself to these women of various ages and professions. You weren’t even being a pervert or partaking in any strange fetish type shit. You were doing things typical of married men on the internet sending the usual penis and “look at me in and after the gym” pics. Either you are ignorant of history or you being caught embarrassed you so much that you were shook and didn’t care as long as it didn’t damage your wife’s career. Your recent idiotic incident is a Nickelodeon cartoon compared to what some of your past and present government alumni have done. Better yet, let’s take a stroll down memory lane and see if you can recall any of these names.

For instance, remember Eliot Spitzer the former governor and once Attorney General of New York who can now be seen on CNN hosting his own show. Remember, he was prostitutions blood enemy until he was found to be bangin’ high-end prostitutes for years. It’s even been estimated that he paid up to $80,000 for prostitutes over a period of several years. How about Rep. Mark Souder (R-IN). He was having a sexual relationship with a female staffer in which both made public videos promoting sexual abstinence. Then there’s Senator John Ensign (R-NV). He only resigned his position as Chairman of the Senate Republican Policy Committee after it was found he was fucking his best friend’s wife. He later resigned altogether to stop the investigation. Equally important is Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) who resigned when he was accused of sending sexually explicit emails to underage male congressional pages. Pedophilia is something you cannot fight so he was promptly replaced with Tim Mahoney.

Now, Rep. Tim Mahoney (D-FL) was an interesting fellow. Once elected, he placed his mistress on his staff and then fired her later saying, “You work at my pleasure.” Yeah, Mahoney was Rick James coldblooded with it. He also later admitted to multiple affairs before and during his tenure in office. Brian J. Doyle, (R) Deputy Press Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security was caught by the sheriff’s department trying to seduce a 14-year-old girl on the Internet who was actually a sheriff’s deputy. He’d later be sentenced to five years in prison, ten years of probation, and had to register as a sex offender. Does any of this ring a bell Anthony or do you need bigger fish? Let’s continue with the big ones then shall we.

Ol’ silver hairs himself, Newt Gingrich (R-GA) had to resign from the House after admitting in 1998 to having had an affair with his intern while he was married to his second wife. You know what the kicker is about Newt though? His affair was going strong at the same time he was leading the impeachment proceedings of Bill Clinton for perjury regarding an affair with his intern Monica Lewinsky. I’m quite sure you remember that circus do you? When President of the United States Bill Clinton went on television irritatingly claiming that, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.” You know how that story ended, but my question to you is do you see the overall theme of these situations? If not, the theme is actual sex Anthony. All these people and more with the exception of Foley and now you were having sex with these people.

I can spend the next 24 hours giving you countless examples of situations that were far worse than yours were but it would be a waste of energy. You’ve already resigned. I was actually naïve in thinking that you would do what Bush referred to as “hunker down” and fight for your position and standing. I don’t know if Obama personally coerced you into leaving or the entire Democratic Party’s bitchassness toward you in the aftermath but in my opinion it was a punk mistake to just resign without even fighting it. All you did was use technology to curtail your obviously horny nature with various women you have no commitment. It was simply a matter blown out of proportion by the media. Your job should not have been a victim in all of this. Yeah, you initially lied about it but who wouldn’t have lied. No one in their right mind would have admitted to doing something so stupid. It was a damned if you do and damned if you don’t type of situation.

All in all, I wish you would have at least been finger poppin’ some of these chicks. At least you would have had something legitimate to lose your job. Why you were on Twitter and Facebook DM’ing and inboxing chicks through your actual personal accounts I will never quite grasp. You could have easily setup accounts not related to you to do the things you wanted to do. Maybe you’re too square to pull off having a fake account and relied on getting women on name recognition, I don’t know. There is one thing I can tell you though. Congratulations on being the first ever public official to get exposed on Twitter and having his #TwitterAfterDark participation read and shown to the entire free world.