Women nowadays have a hoe mentality. Don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about the physical behaviors that define a person as a hoe but rather the mental matrix that governs a woman’s actions with men. A woman who allows herself to be pimped has deeply embedded mental malfunctions and self-esteem issues. The whole push to perform at peak skill is her wanting to be a part of something. Wanting to contribute to a cause even at her own life’s gradual deterioration. This is not a state of mind that only dwells on the stroll. There are many wives, daughters, and sisters displaying this hoe-like mindset every day. You may even know a few people like this or it could possibly be you.
If you are finding yourself in relationship after relationship where your efforts are the only thing keeping the relationship afloat, you may need to examine everything about yourself. If you are finding it hard to separate your identity from that of your spouse or significant other, self-examination is needed. Seeing this hoe-like mentality in many of my friends and family led me to believe that this behavior may be learned rather than developed.
I remember sitting in a car with a friend trying to talk her out of staking out her own home just to see if her husband was cheating. She could not understand that he had his own identity and she married a very strong opinionated man with a confidant presence and dominant personality. Being weak in mind and esteem, she allowed his friends to become her friends while the friends she’d accumulated were shut out. He took advantage of the fact that she allowed his likes to become her likes and aggressively pushed her to the point to where she forgot what she liked. There was no separation between the wife and the person. She no longer had personal friends or an outlet for release. She asked him what she should eat, wear, and even think.
Digging deeper, I found out that her mother had done any and everything in her power to keep her father. He beat her and verbally abused her at every turn but no matter what, she stayed by his side and gave him all she had. If you look at this woman today she looks drawn out and worn while he looks healthy and ageless. It starts by how you think, feel, and present yourself.
The pimp/hoe relationship is based on this same concept. The pimp validates her status as worthless without him while she works hard on being the best whore for him. She gives her mind, body, and soul to him knowing she is being ill-treated but thinks she’d be a loser alone so bottom-bitch status is better than being alone. Longing to be a part of something far greater than her but subjecting herself to total manipulation and humiliation.
It is a very sad thing to look at and I’m beginning to see more of it every day. As a woman, it pains me to see another woman willingly sacrifice herself for the false dignity of keeping a man. Some of these women aren’t even sacrificing themselves for great providers. They’re selling out to bottom of the barrel, bum ass dudes. All I can do is sigh and be optimistic that one day we’ll all be free, but I know there will always be those few who will think that their freedom ain’t worth having if they don’t have some piece of a man.