The Top Ten Signs You Know I’m Grown
Many people are under the impression that once they leave high school or reach the legal drinking age of 21 that adulthood starts. There are a few that belive that once they are sexually active that they should be considered something like an adult. The term that gets thrown around like dollars at a strip club is “grown.” The other day, I had the pleasure of witnessing some individuals inform others that they were “grown ass men and women” and wouldn’t stand for any foolishness. I thought it was funny because grown ass people don’t make scenes like they did and one guy couldn’t release his left hand from his jeans belt loop because they would fall to his ankles when he did. The people ranged in age from 21 to 27. I got to thinking about what “grown” actually meant and did an inventory of the checklist with myself as the reference.
10. I listen to grown ass music.
I do not want to party or “make love” all the damn time. Sometimes I need my soul comforted and my mind cleared. Jill Scott, Donny Hathaway, and Lauryn Hill give me reassurance through music that I am not alone in having my heart stolen and returned to me broken. Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder not only inform me that my heart will one day be renewed again, but they also beckon me to seek the true face of love and in the process feed my social consciousness. However, when it is time for some “sexual healing” you will not hear Waka Flocka Flame’s “Hard in the Paint” or Plie’s “Ms. Pretty Pussy” chopped and screwed in my bedroom. I’m grown. Raheem DeVaughn’s “Desire” is more suitable, thank you very much.
9. I have a grown ass closet.
Any occasion, any time of the day I am ready for whatever event or outing. I have sneakers. I have dress shoes. I even have shoes I only wear around the house or neighborhood. I have suits, blazers, jeans, slacks, Dockers’, and white T’s. There are no words or logos painted on any of my suits and no loud ass colors. I wear a size 38 and all my jeans are size 38. I own an abundant amount of belts and ties with not one clip-on in the collection. You do not have to worry about me appearing at the company Christmas party in a Sean John denim suit and Timberlands with a fresh fitted cocked to the side.
8. I possess grown ass emotions, logic, and thoughts.
On a consistent basis I exhibit emotional and mental stability. I am neither possessive nor jealous. I also do not carry over past disappointments and failures from my past to others. Concise and clear communication is important to me so I always ensure that my thoughts and feelings are conveyed in a non-emotional state. I rarely regret saying anything because I think about my words before I speak. If something does not go my way I move on from it and continue forward without looking back at it. I’m grown.
I do not look at my friend’s or another’s situation and become envious or wishful for what I perceive them to be experiencing. My grown ass intelligence tells me that everything is not always what it seems. This is especially the case for relationships. The “perfect” couple on the outside may be the dead, zombie couple on the inside.
I can handle grown ass conversations such as you cheated, the relationship is over, or you’re just not feeling me without making terroristic threats on your life or calling your mama for help with you. I do not destroy your belongings or take back anything I gave you in good favor. I’m grown. I do not want anybody who does not want me.
7. Sex is not a priority or a tool.
Sometimes I fuck. Sometimes I don’t. This is especially the case for someone I suspect to be emotionally and mentally unstable or who is only attempting to have sex with me because they think in doing so will encourage me to pursue a relationship with them. Sex is not even in the top five of my requirements. Sex is never a topic in any of my conversations with people whom I have never had sex with because it is extremely tacky.
I’m grown. I do not fuck with expectations, stipulations or through ultimatums. The 30 day, 60 day, 90 day, six month, or one year rule does not apply to me because when I have sex it is because I want to have sex. I do not feel guilty afterwards. I’m grown. I take full responsibilities for my actions. Also, I do not withhold sex out of spite or selfishness. If I do not have sex with you it will solely based on not being able to trust you or the more than normal stresses of the day.
6. I have a legitimate source of verifiable income, a health insurance card and well established bank accounts.
I do not pretend to be or attempt to portray myself as entrepreneurial, important, or in laymen’s terms a “boss.” If the job does not produce a 1099 MISC Form, I never claim the titles of actor, artist, writer, model, musician, promoter, etcetera, etcetera. Until I receive a 1099 MISC Form for the aforementioned job titles they are considered to be hustles and not an actually job that can sustain a lifestyle. I have no problem telling anyone what I actually do for a living. I’m grown.
I try to save as much money as I can for a rainy day and future retirement. My grown ass intelligence tells me that Social Security is nothing to look forward to or live on. I prepare for the future now.
5. My bills, habits, and tendencies do not affect others.
Everything I own is in my name. I always ensure nothing I do directly or indirectly affects the people in my life because I am responsible for my own actions. Whatever situation I find myself in whether good or bad I find a way to rectify the situation without involving others. If I have to miss a few dice games because the light bill and mortgage is due, so be it. I’m grown.
4. I supply my own income and do not support another grown ass person.
If I am not married to you I will not be responsible for your financial welfare. I am not cosigning for you. You cannot use my credit or credit cards. I do not negotiate payment plans or arrangements with anyone who is not managing a financial institution. I am self-reliant and I do not manipulate, deceive, seek out or rely upon people who I am not in a committed long-term relationship with because I’m grown. You have yours and I have mines. If it comes together so be it, but only through marriage.
3. I read and comprehend.
Reading is not viewed as some mundane activity but as another form of entertainment and intellectual stimulation. I’m grown. Anything I want to know I seek out and read for myself. Whether it is a magazine, news article, or a published novel, I enjoy discovering new ideas and opinions through reading.
I’m grown. I do not seek attention. Especially from people who are more fucked up than I am, but are suddenly pillars of inspiration and God-consciousness everyday on Facebook. There are way too many multiple personalities and picture perfect characters on Facebook for me to even entertain telling them about my car breaking down let alone something personal. I’m grown. Facebook is only a networking tool. In addition, my relationship status does not change every week or month. I am mentally and emotionally stable. I’m…
1. I do not give a fuck what you think about me.
Not many people can say this with confidence without fear of being ostracized or labeled an asshole. I do not give a fuck. I am my own individual. My thoughts and opinions are my own and I do not apologize for having them. My lifestyle and choices are my own and I live with the good, the bad and, the questionable.
My grown ass intelligence tells me that everyone will not approve of or like my personality. I waste no time in attempting to sway groups of people or individuals to like me as a person. There are people who by the mere sight of you do not like you because of how you look. The minute I start considering my poll numbers like a politician is the minute I start to losing control of my own life. I’m grown. Life is too short to be considering another’s opinion of you when at the end of the day you must live with and look yourself in the mirror.
+ I have grown ass friends.
I only seek the counsel of my “friends” opinions when I want a fresh perspective of a situation and not someone to make a decision for me. My friends and I participate in fresh dialogue that is free of judgment and chastisement of each other. We’re grown. We can disagree with each other without creating continuing conflict or someone becoming offended.
We care for each other’s well-being and do not look to take advantage of each other’s time or resources. Only the truth will suffice with my grown ass friends, nothing less. If we can’t speak truth to each other than there is no point in associating with each other. We’re grown. It is frustrating to grown ass people when others cannot just simply speak the truth to them.
+ I only debate my equals.
I’m grown. I do not engage in any debates with anyone who is not on a grown ass level.
+ I’m civilized and rational.
I do not walk around looking to start physical confrontations with people over dumb shit like looking at me for more than five seconds, stepping on my foot, or bumping me in the club. I attempt to avoid all physical acts of violence.
The Top Ten Signs You Know I’m Grown by King Curtis is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.