I Likes It Raw

I’m Just Saying… #17: We Do Not “Coordinate”

Posted by Curtis James on August 18, 2010 · 5 Comments 

…it is 2010 and no one past the 8^th grade should be still trying to coordinate color patterns and matching outfits to wear in public together.

King Curtis

It is one of the saddest sights you could ever witness. Second only to men who venture outside into public view wearing sock/sandal combinations. The only difference is that this action is very well planned and executed down to the very last detail. This is especially the case for major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas when they show up in the streets in packs rocking matching sucker-ass turtlenecks and throw-up sweaters No one can tell them that they are not the flyest, swagg-tastic couple that anyone has ever seen and if you don’t agree you’re considered a hater. Let the hating commence because couples who feel the need to dress alike when making public appearances are some of the lamest, corniest looking people on the face of the earth.

The effort that some couples put into dressing and looking alike is often times hilarious if you ever have the displeasure of watching such foolishness. They will spend hours, days, and sometimes weeks looking for that perfect color combination or matching accessory. In some cases, money is no object in getting what they want. I’ve personally seen couples go to the Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Burberry stores here locally and purchase yards of the designer fabrics to incorporate into their own personal pieces.

I once met a couple at a church New Years Eve party who had fashioned themselves matching Louis Vuitton fabric suits from head to toe. His three piece suit was all Louis V printed fabric along with her dress and shoes. The said couple even had the audacity to walk around the party bragging to people about how they had paid $3,500 for the fabric and custom tailoring. I couldn’t do anything but look and shake my head. You couldn’t tell those muthafuckas that they weren’t killing everybody in the party fashion wise. It’s as if two peacocks were in the room and everyone else were pigeons let them tell it.

Many times, women are actually the people responsible for initiating this behavior. Most men could care less about trying to coordinate matching outfits with a spouse or girlfriend. Some men barely even know how to dress themselves let alone another person, but I do have a hypothesis. Women are so competitive and territorial with each other that they find creative ways to nonverbally communicate to other women, “mine.” The closest thing she can do other than urinating on the man to mark him with her scent is to dress him up to look like her. Once they are together in public, there is no mistaking which people in attendance are couples. Then again, there are some women who are just dingbats and think it is cute to dress and look alike. They even do the shit with their friends as much as possible.

All in all, nothing says simpleminded more than two people purposely dressed alike. There is absolutely no excuse for it. Even if you both are madly, suicidally in love with each other there is no excuse. Once you graduate to high school, the only other time you better even have on the same colors is for your prom. After that, you have no more look-a-like allowances until the day of your wedding.

NO

I’m Just Saying… #17: We Do Not “Coordinate” by King Curtis is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.